"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breaths away."

6.25.2014

When it rains, it pours.

Just needing to vent! Once again, watching TV... alone ... again :/ I am just so tired of feeling this way! I have no idea what to do anymore. I feel so alone. God truly knows exactly how I feel and what all is on my mind. I hate being upset with my kids. I hate feeling like I lost my cool. I hate that life doesn't come with an exact instruction book because at this point I feel so lost as a mother. All I know is that I love them and would do anything for them but I also want to teach them and raise them to be well rounded adults and have plenty of guidance to get through this crazy life. It goes by too quickly.
I am so confused as to how someone can say they love you yet continue to treat you like you are nothing time and time again.Maybe they don't know what love really is. Maybe they have never truly been loved. But I have loved him. I have. More than I ever thought possible. But it isn't enough. I am not sure it ever will be. I am trying my best to do my part but at this point I have absolutely no clue how to live the best life possible while I feel like someone is holding me back so far from what I want out of life. Not because they have to but because they choose to... daily :( and that's what hurts the most I think. I don't get it.
There is so much I need to say but no one to say it to. Saying it to the person that I need to doesn't matter. So much on my mind right now that I can't even think to type. I need to gather these thoughts I have. I miss feeling like I am in control. Honestly, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. This just isn't fair. This is not what marriage is supposed to be.

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Cody Trosclair, Fiance

Kaeden Makiah Davidson, Son

Ashtyn Shaide Davidson, Daughter

London Avery Trosclair, Daughter

Randy Gunter, Dad

Teresa Gunter, Mom

Randall (Buddy) Gunter, Brother

Rachel Gunter, Sister in law

Erika Young, Niece

William Gunter, Nephew

Dominic Gunter, Newphew







Ashley Bier
Jennifer Byer
Sharon Walker
Erica Scalf





Movie: P.S. I Love You
Colors in order: Black, Red, Brown, Green
Reality Shows: American Idol, Dancing with the Stars
Book: Anything by Nicholas Sparks and The Twilight Series